I love learning a second language. Using it is another matter.
The other day I wrote in a cover letter wherein I admitted that I am a criminal (gewieft). What I wanted to say was that I am experienced. Pff! Alex and his co-workers got a good laugh at my language faux pas.
Just like a kid, I sometimes have no idea when something is appropriate or not. Yet the adult in me tends to be a bit reserved and then I still don’t know. Years later, I’ll try something to ’spice up’ the ‘ol second lang. But having never learned in what content the word arises, my statements have the tendency to meet a raised eyebrow or worse, eyes of wild shock.
Take, for example, going to the toilet. When in doubt, say: Ich gehe auf die Toilette. This is the safe, foreigner path. People will probably forget you the next day, it’s so boring. Also, to delicately say something like ‘going to powder my nose’, say: Ich mache mich frisch.
Say you’re with your buds and being proper is equivalent to saying ‘my shit smells like roses’, you can tone it down with a, Ich gehe aufs Klo. Leave it to me to find a way to get a few snickers out of the locals. Somewhere I heard the word Dixi-Klo and thinking it meant slang for girl’s restroom, I thought I could use it at an upscale bar. Yet Dixi-Klo means port-o-let or porta-potty. Err. So much for being cute.
Here are other sayings I’ve learned in German for hitting the john, dropping the kids off at the pool, seeing a man about a horse, or wiping the dew off the lily. Is it just me or are most of these expressions more appropriate for men? I’m thinking this holds true for German euphemisms as well. See:
Kids will say: Ich mache Pipi.
Among good friends who like a lot of detail, you can say: Ich mache klein. (No. 1) or Ich mache groß. (No. 2) [If you don’t know the numbering system, No. 1 means to pee, No. 2 means to pooh. Just watch Austin Powers]
Mysterious and discreet: Ich muß mal verschwinden or Ich muß mal. I have to disappear or roughly, I have to go. Ich gehe mal um die Ecke. I’m going around the corner. (Never heard anyone use this yet.)
Idealized Mommy/Daddy types: Women: Ich muss mal für kleine Mädchen. I have to use the little girl’s room. Men: Ich muss mal für kleine Jungs.
and good ol’ trash talk: Ich gehe pissen (take a piss), ..gehe pinkeln (take a leak), ..muss kacken (take a crap), ..muss scheißen (take a shit)
Feel free to share any other English or German expressions for using the toilet. I’m sure this list just skims the surface.
You made my day! Cheers :mass:
My dad always said “I have to go see my lawyer” or “I need to see a man about a dog”. We knew what he meant – don’t know if anyone else did
Our kids prefer the trash talk, unfortunately, and often say “Ich muss mal eins abseilen.”
I’ve also heard “Ich gehe auf’s Örtchen.” since the toilet is known in German as “das stille Örtchen.
Heh – gotta go check to see if I’m still a little boy, we used to say.
Seeing a man about a horse has always been my favorite. I was going to comment about being amazed how many euphemisms for going to the bathroom there were in German but then I realized that they all had English translations. Apparently it’s a universal phenomenon.
@Ingo: Glad I could be of service.
@christina: I like that, Örtchen. It’s probably a regional thing. I’ll give it a try in Munich. I looked up abseilen. The non-vulgar term means to rappel, otherwise LEO.de suggests these translations: “pinch a loaf”, “drop a load”, “lay an egg” . Hah.
@ian in hamburg: cute, what do you say nowadays?
@Chris in Oxford: I always think of cop films when I hear that expression. Not all German expressions have an English counterpart and vis-versa. I’ll try to find some examples.
You have no idea how helpful this is!
@Heather: btw, nice name
From what I’ve read of your blog, you’ll do fine here in Germany. I’m pretty introverted so I make mistakes every time I interact with the folk. It gets better though.
Here’s my mustard (mein Senf?) on the subject:
“um die Ecke gehen” is pretty standard for our office, because it’s literally “around the corner” for us. But the first time I heard someone use that expression, my visual brain flashed back to bar-hopping days, where “around the corner” likely meant “of the building.” In other words, “klein.”