Completed my scarf. Now onto the hat.This is my 3rd January in Germany and finally I’ve learned an expression I’ve been dying to know: Das ist nicht meine Angelegenheit meaning, that’s none of my business.
Or better: Kümmere dich um deine eigenen Angelegenheiten! Can you guess? That’s right: Mind your own business!
Do native people use this expression? I’ve never heard it but then again I don’t ask enough questions, which is sort of a New Year’s resolution (or Vorsatz) for me.
It has been pointed out to me that I rely too heavily on assumptions that don’t work in the German culture. When I don’t understand something I need to speak up.
Only it isn’t that I know immediately that I don’t understand something, rather it is mostly the case that I understand it differently. It is recognizing that I am understanding something differently and subsequently wrongly is the point where I could save myself from getting into trouble or not. But regardless I’m destined to repeat my mistakes over and over again if I don’t start getting a clue soon. And this is where I start to miss Florida.
In Florida and I image in other states in the U.S., the people and perhaps the ‘lack-of-culture’ culture is often times more forgiving than it is here. Mind you I’d never want to experience the nightmare of being a foreigner trying to get a green card or just to pass customs for a few days vacation in the U.S. It is certainly comparatively easier in my shoes.
But once you are in the US, you aren’t told in so many words that your thinking is backwards or you lack proper communication skills. Am I wrong? Americans just take you for who you are. They are open to jesters and speaking slowly, imitating sounds and relying on facial expressions if need be.
Try using these primitive measures in Germany and you’ll get a blank ape stare from your confused, native speaker. Asking politely of a native German speaker to speak slowly is like slowing down the merry-go-round for 2 seconds. Then it gets boring or unnatural for the German and the merry-go-round accelerates again. The struggling foreigner has to weigh whether to ask to slow it down again or hang on and hope he’ll recognize something after all that spinning. (When in doubt and even if it feels rude, ASK!)
To a certain point, the way Germans speak is infectious. Now that my German is pretty good (once I get going) I don’t like to switch back to English. In fact I prefer to speak in German; I don’t have to worry about my hands or facial muscles. It’s all just brain and mouth. In an unfair way, one could say speaking in German is robotic, like Data. yeah.
Now it feels completely out of place to speak English in public places and when I do, I can feel that inside my cranium is war to arrive with the most appropriate words. It’s when my thoughts land in a mushy spot on my brain and the German words get mixed up with the English. Then nothing comes out and then I revert to the old assumptions and the old way of telling a story, which is to use body language, but opps! how?!
I know that it is just a bad, bad, bad thing to just give up on a train of mindless, American thought just to save the conversation. But sometimes that is the only thing that feels comfortable. Better to skip to a clean part of the record than to relive hearing the skinny lady tumble out nonsense repetitively.
In other news, I’ve written a post on Knokke and I’ve posted some pictures of Belgium. We’ve joined a gym and love it. Oh and this ol’ bag of bones turns 30 is in 2 days. How’s that for train of thought!
I would like to meet these Americans you mention. My experience is that it takes a somewhat higher degree of enlightenment than is commonly found for the “dealing with farners” or “interacting with the natives” (if the shoe is on the other foot) experience to be pleasant on both sides.
Wanted to thank you for your incredible advice. Have been thinking about it all day–how I can start to implement ‘living’ here instead of just staying here.
By the way–the scarf looks pretty killer. (If a scarf can be killer.)
@Cliff: Here, here! on the enlightenment. The US has yet to have its own and I wonder why some Europeans forget theirs.
I guess I look to my own mundane experiences (me always looking foreign, no matter where I am) and the extremely sarcastic examples found in the film, ‘Borat’. Trust me, for better or for worse, these ‘take-it-like-it-is’ Americans exist.
@Heather: Whoa.. My scarf is killer?! Now I’m pretty stoked. (If one can be stoked over a knitted scarf.) Gee, thanks!
Like I said, the advice isn’t mine but it seems to hold true even if there are days when it is easier said than done. If I were you, I’d start up with the Yoga again, for example. Implement the things here (in Germany) that grounded you in the US.
Having spent quite a bit of time in Germany living with Germans, I do have to say that you are correct. The Germans as a whole tend to be more proper and they have a certain set of rules for almost every situation. I also was raised by my German Grandfather and it was the same in his home.
For the most part I think Americans tend to be easier, more willing to accept things. I think we’re less apt to judge.
My best friend, a Berliner, loves to come here because she appreciates the ease of the American culture. (Yes, we have some don’t we, Heza? LOL!)
I loved this post. It got me really thinking.
And by the way, Happy Birthday! You simply do not look 30!
@Maribeth: Thanks for your comment. I was just ranting about my personal struggles here. I’m sure I’ll forget what it was like in 10 years so I want to remember how hard it was and hopefully what I’ve over come. Fingers crossed.
Hehe… You know, reading that German, I could actually make sense of it!! My home language is Afrikaans you see, which is similar to German, but more similar to Dutch though.
I had German classes at school though, but that was AGES ago!!