The title is in German, it hopefully means, optimism against cancer. Although my language confidence is sub par at the moment.

Today I’m writing a Genesungswunsch letter to Alex’s mom with much difficulty. In the last few months, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and after surgery to remove the lump, doctors found that it had spread to her lymph nodes in her arm pit. She was recently back in the hospital for an infection caused by the drainage tubes. Soon she starts chemotherapy and has already ordered her wig. This is what I have gathered. When I first heard the news everything seemed a bit surreal, unusually factual, positive, but devoid of emotion. Is this normal for Germans? What am I asking, cancer isn’t normal. It’s cancer.

So I’m sending her the German version of No Mountain Too High by Andrea Gabbard and writing this letter in German. I’m struggling to convey my sympathies even in my mother tongue. How can I not make this letter sound mechanical and foreign? Even in two years of being submerged by German, I’ve managed to stay in this middle ground with this language. Nothing too humorous, too intellectual, or too emotional. I can ‘t do it and no native speaker understands me when I try. But I guess that’s it. We try and keep trying. It’s a struggle but we find the willpower and the support of others. I’ve got my Duden Briefe book opened, leo.org, several websites up for inspiration and few others to increase my awareness of breast cancer. In the beginning, I really thought: I’m in the dark. I’ve got nothing. But maybe I have something after all. We have to stay optimistic.