Wellness Tag
Recently I find myself comparing the English and German word equivalents and seeing which I like better. I’ll stick with the English word tender over the German version, zart, it’s an auditory oxymoron. But sometimes English goes a stray for me and I want to run from my own language. Take the English butchery of gynecology, and you get the short and whiny: Gyno. It’s not even a word. What’s worse it rhymes with rhino, which is not something I want to visualize during an exam. The voice of Lois Griffin of Family Guy (Hey, I visited the Gyno today.) echoes in my head when I think of this unword. Ugh, it is concussion inducing. To me, the word in German, Frauenarzt, sounds so much better. Neutral. Tender.
Okay, maybe you know where I’m going with this. I had a wellness visit with the Frauenarzt yesterday. My first annual medi-pelvic excursion in Germany. Although, I must confess I cheated. Here’s how it happened.. Read more
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Conservative Healing
Two months ago from yesterday, I tore my ACL or as we say in German, “Ich habe mein Kreuzband gerissen.” So far, pain only comes from not moving or on a rare moment when I find a shaky spot on cobble stone-like surfaces. From the beginning, I’ve been on the conservative track to getting my knee in working order. That means postponing surgery until I’ve worked through all non-surgical rehabilitation with the hope that just maybe I’ll find that my knee feels secure enough to forgo going under the knife. rn rnI just got back from Doktor K’s. I’ve got the okay for more Belastung. I’m uping the dosage for more walking, biking, swimming (if warm enough), and hiking. Whohoo! The doc was really impressed with my knee flexibility but it was clear that my quadriceps in my left leg are much weaker than my right. Since I’ll be relying on my muscles a lot more for stability, it’s crucial that I get off my lazy ass and work it. I won’t attempt running until middle of May, per doc’s recommendation.
It’s been really tough to decipher all the suggestions, i.e. getting surgery sooner as opposed to later, or when it comes time to getting surgery, should I replace my ACL with a ligament from my hamstring or from a cadaver. Ew. Gross. But it’s an option, right? But for me, I wasn’t so sure. Read more
ACL tear update <br /> <em> he who rests, is he who rusts </em>
It has now been 16 days since I crumpled to the ground and unknowingly unraveled my ACL. My worst days were last Monday through Wednesday. On Monday it was painful to slip the knee brace over my knee because the bruising was beginning to surface, it was as if I had the flu in my knee. As I hobbled from the Tram with two crutches to the Radiologist, my knee would hurt if I tried to walk to fast or too broad and I developed aches in my lower back and left hip. In 7 days I lost the ability to walk properly.
Not so pretty knees from the outsideOn Tuesday despite the continual ice, Voltaren, and Ibuprofen, my knee was hating life and my range of motion was decreasing. The doc said I could loose the crutches, but then said I could take one (so I think). I asked the front desk tri-dits, which crutch I should take and they finally settled on the left crutch. I teetered home and cursed the knee brace for the sensitivity it was causing my knee. Wednesday I didn’t move that much, I forgot my exercises. I only iced my knee and elevated it. When I stood up, I wore my brace and subconsciously shifted all my weight to the right leg. I was feeling damaged and enjoying my private pity party.
Thursday I had my first session of Krankengymnasik [rehab]. I met my therapist, Andi and she pointed out that I was developing an Erguss [joint bruise] and accumulation of fluid in my knee. As she massaged my sore knee she pointed out two critical goals: I need to get my range of motion back and I need to loose the hobble. We worked on my gate, she made me aware I was moving at the hip and basically freezing my knee in a crooked position. She confirmed my suspicion that the brace was a deterrent for achieving a normal stride, but recommended I use it to reduce swelling. And oh wait, yes, I should be using the right crutch instead of the left. I thought to myself that it didn’t matter I tried both ways, which were awkward and my knee still hurt. To me, my crutches were my billboard, my unspoken half truth why I looked so pathetic.
Afterwards, I had 10 minutes of Reizstrom [current stimulation]. I had to pay 20.86€ for the German public health insurance co-pay for the six physical therapy sessions. Then after my 45 minute session, I left, feeling better and more limber than I had in a 11 days. I had packed my brace in my Crumpler and walked slowly and cautiously with my crutch hanging from my hand. I’m sure I looked like a crazy woman taking deliberate steps and carrying my crutch. But it was working, I was slowly learning to walk normally on this foreign knee.
I will have another rehab session tomorrow. Since the first time, I’ve been making vast improvements. The tissue sensitivity around my knee has subsided however it is still very sensitive to heat. I have to sleep with my knee out from under the comforter and long, hot showers are out of the question. Every other step I take feels slightly weird, I’m learning to trust myself all over again, communicate with my knee and rebuild the way my muscles function. I have graduated from the baby method of walking down stairs, now taking each step with one foot. Sometimes on a particularly long stairway, my left quadriceps begin to spasm just towards the end of the flight. It is all just so slightly new and foreign again. Yet slowly there is a feeling of self-assuredness developing. I’m really debating the surgery option, considering it will be the same ‘fun’ all over again with a bit more pain, but can I really give up Ultimate Frisbee? can I change my life to fit my knee? or possibly change my knee to fit the life I want? I’m not so certain now.
Picture says it all
The white ghost in between the two bones is my unwound ACL, it should look like dark bandThe MRI took 15 minutes to complete four scans in four different axes. Holding still is not my problem nor is sticking my leg through a drum of a front-loader washing machine. But the noise from the strong magnetic field during the first scan was awful loud, like being subjected to an amplified sound sample of a traveling star destroyer badly in need of a tune-up. The second scan was relatively quite compared to the first so I was caught off guard when the 3rd started up just as loud as the first. It startled me and for a few seconds as my heart pounded in my chest, I worried that I moved my leg, botching the test. I had to practice breathing exercises to lower my blood pressure, calm my flight response. Then I started to shiver a bit from the cold air. I wanted to perhaps close my eyes, try to relax but it was impossible with the sound of a lawnmower inches from my head. Soon enough, the test ended and I hobbled back to the changing room to retrieve my pants.
Had I had this injury when I was in high school, I think I would have studied Radiology in college. Seriously. Medical imaging technologies are fascinating and are definitely the pudding. I’ll take pudding over slicing me open to discover the ‘proof’ any day.
Dr. K’s diagnosis was proven correct yesterday. I did in fact tear my ACL unfortunately. In the same split second when the accident occurred, my femur slipped backwards and bruised the back of my tibia. You can see that in the picture, in the form of a white shadow on the lower bone. The injury also resulted in squeezing my medial meniscus, thank dog, I didn’t tear it. As Dr. S explained this all to me, I had a hard time imagining that all this happened during one faulty hyper extended step. You’d think an injury like this deserved a heroic tackle. Something other than fatigue. Read more
